Oprah Would be Proud

I had a feeling that 35 would be a big deal for me. I figured this would be the age where it all made sense and I would make big changes. I wasn't entirely wrong. However instead of being overwhelmed with one epiphany after another in the months leading up to turning 35, I find myself encountering a-ha moments left and right in the final months of my 35th year instead.

I knew better than to make New Years Resolutions. I knew I wouldn't keep them. The small ones I did make haven't been all bad. I started this blog, I posted a few times and now, 24 days later, I am doing it again. I am two-thirds of the way through my 3rd book of the year, which puts me ahead of schedule. I saw 2 movies in January and only one was partially animated or computer generated. Not bad if I do say so myself.

But my a-ha moments have come from things unrelated to my resolutions. They appear to be related to the fact that I am almost 36 and officially closer to 40 than 30. I refused to say that I would lose weight in 2008. But as January flew by at an alarming pace I decided that I wasn't going to get in shape magically and it wasn't going to happen quickly. I have three months left until I turn 36 and I decided that February 1st would be my New Year and I started working out last week. I am shooting for 3 times a week and so far so good. I know that I can lose weight and get in shape but I refuse to do it by depriving myself, therefore I have to move more. I lost about 30 pounds two-and-a-half years ago, but the circumstances weren't ideal and I have gained it all back. The problem is I can FEEL the weight more than I ever have before, and I don't like it. I want to be free this summer and not self-conscious every time I have to put on a bathing suit. I want to concentrate on making memories with my husband and two daughters, and not have my good times overshadowed by how I look and feel.

I am also questioning my career. I have said for years that I miss writing, but again was content to just say these words and not do anything about it. Now I feel differently. I realize that this post may not be knocking your socks off, but I wrote some pretty entertaining stuff when I was editor of my college newspaper (gasp!) 16 years ago! I'm sure it will come back to me the more I practice. I have even been looking for online writing jobs and maybe, just maybe, I can make a buck or two while I am at it.

Another thing that has become clear to me is my faith. I don't want to seem preachy or make the few readers I have feel uncomfortable, but I think that for the first time in my life I may actually believe in God. Yes, like really believe. I won't go in to details, as I believe that religion or faith in a higher power is a very personal thing. I don't feel anyone should be judged by what religion they practice, or by whether they practice at all. If you're a good person then that is good enough for me, but I will say that it's a nice feeling. It's just one more area of my life that is starting to make "sense".

So, here I am, propped up in bed, writing on (or is it in?) my blog. I did a 3 mile workout and 50 crunches tonight. All after I worked 8 hours and went to my older daughters Brownie meeting, where I serve as co-leader. Once I'm done I plan to read more of my 3rd book of the year, and maybe, just maybe, grow tired enough to actually relax and sleep soundly, another thing that I have not done in a really long time.