Mine

As any parent knows most children go through the "mine" phase. Screaming "MINE" while ripping a toy from another child's hand is a rite of passage, it's normal. I think that's why I have always gotten such a kick out of the seagulls in "Finding Nemo". They just sit there and say "mine, mine, mine". I have little kids and those seagulls get me every time. Yeah, I'm easily entertained.

This year, with my choice of train-wreck current events at an all time high I found myself overly intrigued with the FLDS Polygamist story. I think it's just a story that I can't wrap my head around so I have to read everything I can about it in hopes that it might make sense. I started with Carolyn Jessop's memoir "Escape". As the title suggests it's the story of her escape from polygamy with her 8 children. I can't even fathom being assigned a husband, let alone having to share him with other wives. All of us reproducing like rabbits and raising our children together as one big happy family. Of course that's a far cry from what I grew up experiencing. No "mine" to be seen. I imagine it's different if you don't know that it doesn't have to be that way.

Right now I am reading "Stolen Inocence" by Elissa Wall. She was assigned to marry her first cousin when she was just 14 years old. This order came from the elderly prophet based on his revelation from God. So, in Utah, God wants us to marry our cousins at age 14? Fantastic. She couldn't say "My body is mine." Her "spiritual" husband said it was his.

When the HBO series "Big Love" premiered I was a fan, maybe that's where my interest in this lifestyle started. Every week my "stare at the train wreck" instincts kicked in and I had to watch, and it disturbed me. I seemed to internalize the feelings of the sister wives. Whether you feel monogamy is human nature or not, few people are able to avoid jealously, no matter what you were raised to believe. We all want to feel special, everyone has a time when they need to be liked best, and sharing a husband with 2 or more wives can't possibly feed those needs. But it certainly can feed the green monster of jealousy. I found myself somewhat angry at my husband after watching "Big Love", like he wasn't just "mine" and I should be mad at him for that. In the end it was best that I stopped watching the show.

Honestly, I don't believe that anyone belongs to anyone else. I think we choose to be together based on an attraction of some kind. "Be Mine" belongs on Valentine's candy and "Mine!" should be left to kids and seagulls in Disney movies. But I believe that once we make a mutual choice to be together and we choose to be "each others" then it's all good and hopefully it's forever, with no train wrecks to be seen. As far as polygamy goes I think if it works for some people I am happy for them, but they should be of legal age and consent before marrying. But really, who would want more than one of me?