Just Breathe

Twelve months and eighty posts ago I started a blog. It was a New Years resolution and while at times it has been neglected or forgotten, there has been many times when a post on Hiccup Medicine has allowed me to finally fall asleep by putting my overabundance of thoughts in writing. Tonight, as I laid next to the snoring bear that has been sleeping to my left for about 16 years (bless him) I realized it was one of those nights.

By re-reading my earlier posts I can see that I had a good feeling that 2008 wasn't going to be an average year for me. It was a year to make some changes in my attitude and in my life. Truthfully I had no idea what I was in for, or that I would end the year unemployed. But when I go back and read, I am proud of what I wrote. Some of it was unabashedly random, some wasn't. But it's mine, all mine.

As I sit here wrapped in my husband's zip-up camouflage fleece, my wardrobe of choice when writing at night when the house is cold, I've decided that my motto for the end of the year is "Just Breathe".

I quit my job almost seven weeks ago and have gone through an array of emotions. But now, I just keep saying "Breathe". Breathe as 2008 comes to a close. Breathe as 2009 arrives with a house full of friends making great memories. Breathe as I reflect on the last year by reading my blog, and recognizing where my mind was during every post. Breathe as a I realize how my life has changed due to this blog. Breathe as I realize what giant steps I have taken this year to allow myself happiness. Breathe as I realize my past is wonderful and it's made me who I am today. Breathe and know that certain things happen for a reason and they are beyond our control. Breathe and admit there are no coincidences in life. Breathe and accept that I am exactly where I supposed to be.

Anna Nalick has a song called "Breathe" where she sings "No one can find the rewind button now, so cradle your head in your hands and breathe, just breathe." There is no going back, what's done is done. In 2008 I quit my job to follow my dreams. Will they come true? I hope so. Will it all work out as I plan? Probably not. All I can do is welcome 2009 with open arms and breathe.